Scribbles

Not the bedroom type, I wish.  The ones on top of the consultancy pyramid that yell to express their displeasure.

The Steering Committee meeting is occurring right now as I type this.  The first one of our project, it’s like the first midterm, except with larger consequences.  The outcome will decide many things for many people: political jousting among committee members of the operating company, the direction for the remaining 3.5 months of the project, the promotion considerations of consultants and project leader, bonuses and raises, career development of everyone on the team (client and consultants), serious business.  So serious that one can’t smile.

Last night as we finalized the backup slides of the presentation, I got yelled at for smiling.  Technically speaking, the scolding was directed at me “laughing.”  Some background before the climatic vocal spanking: two Sunday’s ago, I left my comfortable apartment in NYC to Munich to work on said critical presentation with the team.  As we labored all week, the partners on the project would give us very direct and insightful input, often interspersed with yelling.  One of the comments involved the representation of the logic flow on one particular slide, with me and partner disagreeing on whether it should be a square or an arrow, purely cosmetic.  We went back and forth but didn’t really come to a conclusion.  Quite frankly, I didn’t care that much, because the content was agreed upon.  On Friday evening, our project leader sent out the entire presentation to the Steering Committee members, for their review before today’s meeting.  Come Monday, I realized that we didn’t incorporate the change and mentioned this.  Both PL and I decided not to change it because we didn’t want to explain during the meeting that no content was changed, merely the shape of the figure surrounding the text.

Fast forward to last night, as I finalized the backup slides (the detailed explanations of the presentation to respond to anticipated questioning), the partner stormed in, pointing emphatically at a printout of the wrong shaped figure.  I explained what happened and reiterated the PL’s reluctance to make changes in the presentation after sending it out.  I made the mistake of not looking contrite enough.  Instead, I represented my argument with a pleasant, semi-smiling (definitely not my “how you doin’” smile) demeanor, nothing rude or improper.  Simply my way of lightening the already high-strung mood.  Oops, big mistake.  “Stop laughing!  This is not a funny manner.  This is very serious business and I am extremely angry!”

Instead of arguing that I wasn’t laughing, I got bailed out by a phone call from the PL, where I promptly requested (and received approval) for the change.  Case closed, whew.  In all fairness, I do like this particular partner a lot.  He’s emotional and passionate and he lets you know how he feels, so there’s no second guessing in if he thinks you’re a performer, or simply an idiot.  And since I know this, I don’t take his screaming too personal.  But I do need to work on my contrite look.